The Silent Punishment of Midlife Women at Work
When Ambition Collides with Biology
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When I published The Midlife Vanishing, I didn’t expect the avalanche of replies from women who said: “That’s me.” They were strategists, creatives, execs, founders. Ambitious, brilliant women quietly sidelined by a system that makes no room for changing bodies.
I read every single comment. And I kept thinking: How can I help?
So I reached out to Bonnie Marcus and asked if she would lend her voice to this conversation and she said yes. Bonnie is a former CEO, executive coach, and the author of Not Done Yet!, a powerful call to arms for women over 50 to reclaim workplace power. She’s also the voice behind the Substack Own Your Ambition, where she shares sharp, strategic insight on navigating gendered systems with confidence and clarity.
Bonnie knows what it means to lead while managing symptoms no one talks about and what it costs when workplaces punish ambition in aging bodies.
This is not a quiet exit. It’s a structural rebellion. And it’s time we treat it like one.
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The Silent Punishment of Midlife Women at Work: When Ambition Collides with Biology
I went through perimenopause/menopause when I was a CEO. The role required me to be visible and alert every day. But I was one lucky woman. Unlike many of my colleagues and friends, I was never sidelined due to symptoms. Yeah, I would have occasional night sweats but that was nothing compared to the stories women shared with me in confidence about how they had to leave meetings due to hot flashes, their ongoing disruptive brain fog, insomnia, and mood swings.
This is a story that deserves attention. In the prime of their careers, with all the experience, insight, and authority to lead, millions of ambitious women find themselves confronting a new form of discrimination. It happens subtly. A shift in how they’re perceived. A distancing. Fewer opportunities. Whispers about their energy or reliability. What changed?
Not their competence. Not their dedication. But their bodies.
As women enter perimenopause and menopause, the very biological transitions that mark their continued strength and survival are used, consciously or not, against them. At a time when they could be stepping into their most powerful leadership roles, many are instead stepping aside, not because they lack ambition, but because the system no longer makes space for them to lead with dignity.
This is not just an HR issue. It’s a crisis of equity, of leadership, and of what we value in the workplace.
The Truth About Menopause at Work
Let’s begin with the facts.
Perimenopause can begin as early as the late 30s or early 40s, and menopause is officially marked by 12 consecutive months without a menstrual period, usually occurring between ages 45–55. This transition brings a wide range of symptoms: hot flashes, brain fog, mood swings, fatigue, insomnia, joint pain, anxiety, and depression.
Many of these symptoms directly impact how women function at work, but more damaging than the symptoms themselves is the stigma surrounding them.
Women report feeling silenced, dismissed, or diminished when they bring up menopause in the workplace. In a 2022 survey conducted by the Fawcett Society, one in ten women reported leaving their job due to menopause symptoms. Another 14% said they had reduced their hours or responsibilities. These are not women who lacked drive. These were leaders in waiting, forced out by a culture that makes no room for aging women’s bodies.
The majority of employers do not take women’s symptoms seriously or make accommodations willingly. Two-thirds of women say their workplaces provide no support for menopause, while 99 percent of female employees receive no menopause-related benefits.
And let’s be clear. It’s not because accommodations are impossible. It’s because no one wants to deal with them.
The Leadership Cliff
Menopause does not make women less capable. But the perception that they are less stable or less sharp creates what many experts now call the “leadership cliff.”
Just as women are poised to move into senior roles, positions they have worked decades for, they find themselves being quietly sidelined. Opportunities that used to come easily dry up. Invitations to strategic meetings vanish. Their input is interrupted more often. Their authority is subtly undermined.
Add in the bias that already exists around aging, particularly aging women, and the danger becomes clear. Unlike their male counterparts, who are often seen as more “distinguished” as they age, women are often perceived as “fading” or “losing their edge.”
The Burden of Pretending Everything Is Fine
To stay in the game, ambitious women begin to self-edit. They double down on output while quietly hiding their symptoms. They take meetings through migraines, give presentations while sweating through hot flashes, and pull late nights to compensate for the sleep they didn’t get the night before.
Some 75 percent “keep their menopause symptoms a secret in the workplace, putting a strain on their mental health and discouraging them from seeking support.”
They may even go through medical procedures or begin hormone therapy because it’s the only way to perform to an unrealistic standard of bodily “neutrality.”
The price of survival: deny your body or be seen as ‘broken’.
And for many women, this tradeoff becomes too steep.
When the Only Way to Protect Your Dignity Is to Leave
In one coaching session, a 51-year-old VP confided in me, “I’ve spent my entire career climbing this ladder. But now I walk into rooms and feel invisible. I forget words sometimes, and I can see the judgment on their faces. I still want to lead. But I’m not sure I want to fight for a seat at a table that doesn’t respect me.”
This is a heartbreaking reality. Not because she’s “giving up,” but because she’s choosing her dignity over remaining in a game rigged against her.
It raises a critical question: If the only way to protect your identity, sanity, and self-worth is to leave… what does that say about the system?
And what does it cost us when the most seasoned, emotionally intelligent, wise, and resilient leaders opt out?
Menopause Is Not a Weakness. It’s a Milestone.
We have a cultural failure on our hands. We treat menopause like a disease or a weakness, rather than what it is: a biological transition that, while challenging, also ushers in a powerful chapter of clarity and confidence.
Research shows that postmenopausal women often experience a surge of self-assurance and purpose. Free from the hormonal cycles of the past, they are more direct, less people-pleasing, and more committed to authenticity.
This should be an asset in leadership. But instead, we let stigma and silence devalue them.
Companies tout gender parity goals, but menopause isn’t even on the radar in most workplace equity conversations. That’s a glaring oversight, especially when women over 45 make up one of the fastest-growing segments of the workforce.
What Needs to Change
The majority of employers do not take women’s symptoms seriously or make accommodations willingly. Two-thirds of women “say their workplaces provide no support for menopause, while 99 percent of female employees receive no menopause-related benefits.”
If we’re serious about retaining female talent and building inclusive leadership pipelines, here’s where we can start:
1. Normalize the Conversation
Create safe spaces where menopause isn’t taboo. Encourage ERGs (employee resource groups) to address midlife transitions. Offer training for managers to understand and support women through these phases.
2. Update Health and Leave Policies
Include menopause-specific support in health insurance offerings. Offer flexible work arrangements that recognize the fluctuation in symptoms.
3. Evaluate Leadership Criteria
Question whether leadership is too narrowly defined by traditionally masculine, uninterrupted linear trajectories. Build in pathways that allow for ebb and flow without penalty.
4. Mentorship and Sponsorship
Encourage senior leaders to sponsor women navigating midlife, helping ensure their visibility and value are protected.
5. Measure What Matters
Track retention and promotion rates for women over 45. If they’re leaving or stagnating, ask why. Build accountability around closing that gap.
Final Word: Don’t Call It an Exit. Call It a Rebellion.
When ambitious women leave the workforce because of how they’re treated during perimenopause and menopause, they’re not quietly fading away. They are protesting with their feet.
They’re saying: I will no longer perform in systems that diminish me for being fully human. I will not suppress my body to maintain your illusion of productivity. I will not pretend that ambition and aging cannot coexist.
They are not the problem.
The problem is a workplace that doesn’t know how to honor ambition in a changing body. And if we want real equity, not just for women, but for all humans who age, we need to start treating this not as a private burden, but a public leadership imperative.
It’s time to stop asking women to shrink, hide, or leave.
It’s time to change the system.
About the Author
Bonnie Marcus is an executive coach, author, and speaker with over 25 years of leadership experience. She’s the host of Badass Women at Any Age and the editor of the Substack Own Your Ambition, where she writes about gender, power, and workplace equity.
You can follow her here or learn more at bonniemarcusleadership.com.
If this post spoke to you because you’ve lived it, seen it, or want to help change it, pre-order my upcoming book The Billion Dollar Blind Spot. It’s for anyone who wants to understand how women’s health gets overlooked and what it will take to finally fix it.
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Disclaimer & Disclosure
This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute financial, investment, legal, or medical advice, or an offer to buy or sell any securities. Opinions expressed are those of the author and may not reflect the views of affiliated organisations. Readers should seek professional advice tailored to their individual circumstances before making investment decisions. Investing involves risk, including potential loss of principal. Past performance does not guarantee future results.
Now that i'm perimenopause, i've learn that I have zero fcks to give about capitalism and could care less about being ambitious at work. I have found it's very liberating and as a result, i'm happier at work now than I've ever been in my entire adult life.
Love this!!! Such great info--thank you!!